Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Passing of the Bottle Opener

Although not nearly as prestigious as the passing of the Olympic torch, today's event was a big one. I have had my old and faithful aluminum bottle opener since Oktoberfest in Munich. The year was 1997. It has served me well. Opening more bottles of beer (and the most amazing Coke in the world...Nicaragua, I love you) than I can even remember. In recent years however it has lost quite a bit of effectiveness. Its lip faltering under the stress I put on it. Now it will go to the same place all old bottle openers go...a gigantic pool filled with used bottle caps that need not be freed any longer. Together the caps and worn out openers live in harmony forever, both having served their functions admirably.

Bet you didn't know that.

Learn something every day.

My new opener is a thing of beauty. Yes, I have already put it through its paces and warmed it up. Like a young mustang it has taken some coaxing to open bottles just right, but I think he trusts me now. Someone may ask, "why would you ever use an opener from another beer company? Especially one you do not particularly care for?" Two answers come to mind:

1. If it works, use it. That's about as sustainable as it gets. Bite me Prius.

2. I got it for free. My amazing wife has the 'free-stuff-you-get-on-the-internet-for-no-apparent-reason' game down to a science...but that is for another post.

Here is to many more years of faithful service from my new opener. I miss the old one already, but I'll get over it...

Maybe some of you should come over and help me break in the new one some more.

Just a thought.

You are always invited.

Knock before entering.


  1. Almost brings a tear to your eye......!

  2. Okay, that wasn't Casey, not sure how that happened! It's your Mom.

  3. I was going to say...this blog does not condone under age drinking! =)